By Dawn
I'll be honest: This hasn't been one of my best weeks since starting the program. To say that I'm feeling frustrated and stuck would be an understatement. All along, as I've gone through my exercise routine, I've been very aware of a stiffness in my back which, I'd hoped, would work its way out with time and increased flexibility. But it hasn't worked itself out and, if anything, it's gotten worse.
A visit to my doctor has confirmed that I've got some swelling in a few of the discs in my lower back, which isn't news to me since I've dealt with the problem before. However, I can't help but feel a bit annoyed that just as I'm working as hard as I ever have to get fit, this stupid ailment would rear its ugly head as a roadblock threatening to derail my progress.
Stretches and roll massages help, but the discomfort persists to the point where, this week, I find I can't make it into the gym to work through it. I know part of this is mental and emotional, and I'm really surprised at and disappointed in myself for giving in to it. I just feel tired and defeated and, yes, I start to question whether all this effort will be futile in the end. The clinical name for my state of mind this week? A full-blown pity party, with me as the only invitee.
At week's end, I have a long and honest conversation with myself. I absolutely know that what I'm doing is NOT for naught. I know that I've made progress. And I'm clear that success is possible—I've just got to make the investment of time and effort in myself.
But it can't just be lip service. I've got to really step up things up and get my head back in the game. I've got to make some real decisions that better balance the scale of demands on my time—both at work and at play. I'm know that I've got to dial back on spending inordinate amounts of time doing things that don't feed my creativity and my spirit. Those things manifest themselves as stress, which then takes up residence in my lower back.
In the end, I choose to refuse to give in to this minor setback and give up my personal goal of looking good and feeling great. My 'A-Ha!' moment of the week occurs when I truly realize that I get to choose—and I choose to win. Pity party over. Back on track, and back to work—on me, for me.
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